oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
