I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
