You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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