I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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