It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
