suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
