I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
