its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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