your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have aggressive nipples.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
