so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
