summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
