Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
