All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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