i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
