so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You're like the curious george of whores
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
