I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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