Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I will be naked everywhere
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
