I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
