Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
