It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
