I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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