Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
