You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
