3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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