So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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