as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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