Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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