So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
