I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I believe in your delicious
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
