Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
is that a dick in a sweater?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
