yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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