So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize