He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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