he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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