Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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