Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
