I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
