she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
