and you said cock pushups were impossible
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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