i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
barbara walters just said penis...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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