I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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