she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
