am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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