R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
