were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
