Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
