just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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