i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
its liver damage thursday
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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