She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
