Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
