Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I love having hate sex.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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