so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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