she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it was like eating out sand paper
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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