i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
