Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
